You might be better off at the Bates Motel or a roach motel than one of these horrors. Below are some of the funniest and most horrifying hotel experiences we’ve found around the Web. (Note: reviews have been edited for grammar and spelling.)
1) “Yours Is A Very Bad Hotel”
The DoubleTree Club in Houston, Texas
Tom Farmer and Shane Atchison of Seattle made a PowerPoint presentation after their experience at DoubleTree Club of Houston, Texas to fully express the customer service nightmare. A night clerk named Mike was the subject of their wrath. “We held guaranteed, confirmed reservations at the DoubleTree Club for the night of November 14-15,” they wrote. “These rooms were held for late arrival with a major credit card. Tom is a card-carrying Hilton Honors Gold VIP. Yet when we arrived at 2:00am, we were refused rooms!”
The PowerPoint presentation has traveled far and wide enough to merit its own page on urban legends site Snopes.com. In recent interviews, Farmer and Atchison have begged for the 2001 presentation to be laid to rest: “We are beginning to think even Night Clerk Mike and his bosses may have suffered enough.”
2) “Bathroom ceiling was leaking massive urine”
Plaza Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada
One Vegas hotel served TripAdvisor user MadamZCalifornia a horrifying cocktail for New Year’s Eve—urine, water and electricity. She met with a terrible stench after checking in. “The room smelled horrible. We were gagging. It smelled like sour milk and feet mixed.”
At first she tried to cover the problem. “We walked to Walgreens and ABC Store to get three bottles of air freshener. The lady who worked at ABC said that a lot of people who stayed at the Plaza came there to buy air fresheners!”
But soon the problem was traced to a streaming light fixture in the bathroom. “The bathroom light was filled with water and the light was blinking. It felt so dangerous with the water and electricity. I didn’t DARE try to turn the light off. We were traumatized…We were FREAKED OUT.” MadamZ says that her group had nowhere else to go since the city was booked solid for New Year’s Eve. After much hassle and arguing with the management, they were upgraded to a room with no smells or leakage, but MadamZ vows never to return.
3) “Smelly, Hot, Shabby & Dirty-Otherwise OK”
Galt House Hotel & Suites in Louisville, Kentucky
“To call this a ‘fleabag’ hotel would be an unconscionable insult to both fleas and bags everywhere,” writes TripAdvisor user BruceLafleur. “In my 25 years of business travel, I have never experienced such a consistently, depressingly mediocre property.”
An employee advised user Firemedic599 to trek up two escalators and across a covered walkway to the other tower, where he was told that he needed go back down two escalators to the first floor. “SHE COULD HAVE TOLD ME TO JUST WALK ACROSS THE STREET—IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FASTER SINCE WE HAD LUGGAGE!!!” he writes. His room “smelled like burnt rubber and a doctor’s office.” It was so cheap that “the only thing missing was a quarter slot and vibrating bed.”
However, other TripAdvisor users rated Galt House favorably, even giving it multiple stars.
4) One-stop shopping
Ramada Inn and Convention Center in Aberdeen, South Dakota
The Ramada Inn and Convention Center in Aberdeen, South Dakota, seems to serve a niche market. “We stay here each year as pheasant hunters because we can eat, sleep, drink, and get our birds cleaned and frozen all in one location,” writes Priceline.com user George from Sissonville, West Virginia.
But user Greg from Brookings, South Dakota was unhappy with his stay. “I would not tell anyone to stay here. Old and staff did not know what they were doing. Could not even help us find our rooms. We had 5 couple with us, and we were all very unhappy with our stay. Rooms were dirty and smelled bad.” There couldn’t be any relationship between butchering pheasants and bad smells, could there?
However, the Priceline.com page says that the Inn has been recently remodeled (no date is given), so perhaps any unpleasant pheasant smell is gone.
5) Many brown delights
Waldo Emerson Inn Bed & Breakfast in Kennebunk, Maine
The wife of a B&B owner in Kennebunk, Maine seems to be trying to sabotage the operation. While the male innkeeper offered stories of the inn’s history on the Underground Railroad, his wife offered charred slice-and-bake cookies. The inn’s namesake dog also did his part to make the place homey. “They had a new adorable black poodle, Waldo, who left us little smelly packages outside our bedroom door!!” writes user Leslieannadams at Trip Advisor. “Now this would have been funny, because I am a big dog lover, but after all, we were paying for this. When we told the innkeeper the response was, ‘Oh, bad little puppy.’ No ‘I’m sorry’ or anything!”
And when it was time to go: “She LITERALLY—and I mean literally—pushed us out the front door. As soon as we paid she physically began nudging us with her body toward the front door and said, ‘You’ve got to go. Go! Go! We have work to do! Leave now!’ We were literally stumbling backwards trying to get out as quickly as she wanted us to. It was almost comical, but not quite.”
6) “Go and sleep on the subway, it’s cleaner”
Hotel Carter in New York, New York
The exterior looks like the Chicago motel home of Jake and Elwood Blues, with the bustle of Times Square instead of constantly-rattling El Trains. The no-tell motel made TripAdvisor.com’s 2007 list of the dirtiest hotels in America. “We believe the 9th floor is the point of origin for every bacteria known to man,” writes TripAdvisor user kevinWestMids.
Writes user caio_cunha: “The hotel itself remembered a bad horror movie.” (Hmm…)
“The first room I stayed (for 30 minutes) had such a terrible plumbing problem that the roof was falling in pieces all over the bed,” caio_cunha continues. “The second room I got was so dirty and smelly that I had to buy sheets to sleep in. There were spit marks on the wall, the AC had 1 inch of dirt on the filter and when we turned the shower on, it was impossible to keep the water in the bathroom. I felt sick every minute I spent on this hotel. I could never imagine to find such a trash place, not even in my worst nightmares…”
7) “Visit a third world hotel on a Pennsylvanian budget”
Days Inn Lancaster in Lancaster, Pennsylvania
“Where do I start?” fumes cdbell0102. “The lack of air conditioner in the lobby and hallways? No locks on the exterior hallway doors? The dirt and dust on the exterior edge of the floor? Bedsheets that did not cover the mattress? The lack of temperature control on the shower (hot one second, cold the next)? The sticky matted carpeting? The blood-stained washcloth? There’s the ticket. Blood-stained washcloth is the winner by a narrow margin.”
User Gussie06 adds, “The two police cars sitting outside the hotel for the entire night did not bode well, but I sure am glad they were there.”
8) “Something to remember us by”
Whiteleaf Hotel in London, United Kingdom
Marie07Ireland’s boyfriend brought home something special to remember their stay from the lovely Whiteleaf Hotel. At the end of a scathing review, she writes, “[He] noticed red lumps on his skin on the following day – like hives, really itchy and red. We assumed it was just some kind of allergic reaction. He got some lotion from the chemist which calmed it down a little. [A few days later] he was sitting watching TV and scratching his leg at the same time when he felt something ‘give’ and moved over to the window for a better look. There was a small white maggot on his finger tip—alive! I was nearly sick at the sight of it. We only sat on the bed—imagine if we had slept in it! The place was crawling.”
9) “Perfect for a six inch tall Indiana Jones”
Hotel Y Cabanas Del Lago in Puerto Varas, Chile
The Hotel Y Cabanas Del Lago has a respectable 3 out of 5 rating at TripAdvisor.com, but it hasn’t made everyone happy. Consider the following mysterious, borderline-racist review from user fdarcio: “The bathroom and the bed were too small…The showers are made for local ‘mapuches’ (who) are shorter than 5.5in.” (That’s pretty short.)
fdarcio continues, “The hotel has a new area and an old area. Make sure you stay on an Executive suite, which is a basic international suite, otherwise you may fall to the catacombs of the very old area.” Good to know!
10) “But the game’s on!”
Hotel La Marine in La Rochelle, France
Personal space appears to have a different meaning in France—at least when the World Cup is involved. “We left for dinner in the Latin Quarter,” says a TripAdvisor user quoted on France.com. “We returned to the hotel just before 11pm, just to drop off a camera and get a jacket. We intended to venture out again and soak up our last evening in Paris. We walked into the lobby and found the door to our room propped wide open. The night desk manager was inside watching our television (the World Cup) and smoking cigarettes. We were speechless. Our luggage, our possessions were all out in the open. The man told us, ‘But it is France!’—referring to the football match)—and exclaimed, ‘I didn’t touch a thing!’”
Now after reading these horror stories, click here to enjoy quality hotel rooms at great rates. This is an experience that leads to favorable reviews.